The Whites Are Back at It Again Meme

Biracial lesbian Mellina White has a few things to say to her skillful liberal white friends in Seattle.

This is an unsolicited alphabetic character to my white friends regarding Ahmaud, Christian, George, and the countless other black folks you will never hear about.

I'one thousand black, white, and Hispanic. I grew upwardly in Florida. I'm a lesbian. I also enjoy fancy cocktails and late-night alive jazz.

I hate that I need to lead with my identities, but the country of our nation warrants it.

A few months agone, I ran an errand at Southcenter Mall. As I walked dorsum to my machine, a man in a pickup truck blocked my machine and rolled down his window to become my attention. I looked at him and he yelled, "f---ing fa--ot," and collection off.

I shrugged my shoulders and got in my car. Why let him ruin my day? And also, it's non like I oasis't heard that one before.

On numerous occasions, I have been called a fa--ot, dy-e, n---er, half-breed, and zebra by random strangers, and so-called friends, and coworkers. I take gone to a fancy clothing shop and had the employee ask if I was shopping for a court date. I have gone to a car dealership to have a human being refuse to give me a examination drive. I have been randomly selected for boosted screenings at the airport and so many times that it is at present role of my travel schedule.

I am a data person. I empathise enquiry shows that incidents like those involving Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and George Floyd are extremely rare. However, that is not the signal. It's not the reason for the protests, burnout, or acrimony.

caption: Mellina White and her father Melvin White pose for a photo at a wedding on Feb. 9, 2020 in Miami, Florida.     From Mellina: "This week my dad fixed two bathroom sinks, resowed his grass, played in the pool with his 6-year-old granddaughter and rocked his newborn granddaughter to sleep.     But you know what else my dad did recently? He had the cops called on him for standing on the sidewalk. Literally. Waiting for someone to pick him up. This wasn't his first unnecessary interaction with law enforcement."

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While I am fully enlightened that a bolt of lightning is more than probable to take me out than the hands of a cop or vigilante neighbour, I likewise know that I walk through the earth as a minority poster kid because I'thou an "other" in so many ways--black and Hispanic, lesbian and libertarian. I even grew up in a religious minority! I can't avoid this no affair how hard I endeavour. I can't just be a person.

If you are disillusioned with the protests, the acrimony, the Blackness Lives Matter movement or are more than concerned about annexation than people, please know that the stories and people who make the news stand for a tiny fraction of what all minorities face daily.

Modernistic-day racism has the face of Covid-xix. It is silent and invisible, all the same deadly. Information technology is taxing on some communities and about not-be in others. If it doesn't impact your family, you might even suggest information technology's a hoax. But racism is very real. And it chips away at lives so slowly, our social club doesn't take detect. Until now.

It'due south been a rough yr. I know yous hateful well. But the fever pitch that we accept reached compels me to share my thoughts with y'all on your online "activism."

Over the past few weeks, I have seen countless memes, videos, and posts nigh race on your social media pages. Instructions on how we should brainwash ourselves. Countless explanations of white privilege. Book recommendations about race. Criticism of other white people who use phrases you perceive as oppressive. Images that simply say BLACK LIVES MATTER. The listing goes on and on.

Yet, I can't help simply notice some glaring omissions.

For instance, pictures of you hanging out with your friends of colour. Y'all out and about enjoying different cultures in real life. You actually physically connecting with homo beings who are different than you regularly in your life. I never meet those posts.

I know what you're thinking right at present. You have black friends! You simply don't parade them on your social media posts! And to be off-white, I don't know your real life.

Simply seriously, do you actually have whatever black friends?

One of the catalysts for me writing this alphabetic character was sparked by navigating the social backwash of the killing of Ahmaud Arbery. I witnessed many white people angry, frustrated, and hopeless while trapped in their homes, trying to make sense of yet another killing of a young black man.

I reached out to some, offering myself up every bit that POC friend to engage in an "uncomfortable conversation" that might help us all find answers and take meaningful activeness. The response from many was positive and supportive. But then, the conversation took a turn.

It wasn't long before I felt drowned out by white voices volunteering to aid "facilitate" these uncomfortable conversations. What was the grab? The conversations had to be but through their methods for fear that I might be harmed otherwise.

Harmed? By a chat? At that moment, I realized that while so many white people were coming from a identify of sincerity, they ironically espoused the same viewpoints as the white southerners they often dearest to criticize.

I realized that many white progressives view people like me as marginalized, weak, and in need of protection only because of my race. Without even knowing me or my life feel how could yous ever reach that conclusion? Without really picking up the phone and having a conversation with me, how could y'all know what I tin can handle?

I started to wonder how many of these white people dominating online conversations nearly disinterestedness actually had a existent-life black friend.

caption: Mellina White in her COVID-19 mask. April 13, 2020, Seattle.

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Modernistic-day racism has the confront of COVID-19. It is silent and invisible, even so mortiferous. It is taxing on some communities and almost non-exist in others. If it doesn't touch on your family unit, you might even suggest information technology'due south a hoax. Mellina White

And for the tape, if we are going to generalize black people in such a wide sense, I would debate that African-Americans are the most resilient group in America. How could nosotros not exist after indelible hundreds of years of oppression? And if yous don't believe me, have a conversation with a southern blackness auntie. She'll set you directly. If you lot don't know whatsoever, I've got a few I'd dear to introduce you lot to. Brand a friend.

I realized that a number of y'all, individuals with expert intentions, actually perceive yourself as an authorization on these issues because you read books by Robin DiAngelo (no offense, but she's white) or Shelly Tochluk (too white), or took a weekend course on "anti-racism" taught past a well-respected (and white) professor.

Pause for a moment and heed. Taking "action" is not sharing the aforementioned post everyone else in your repeat chamber is sharing. It's getting out of your condolement zone and learning about people different than y'all in real life.

Information technology even means listening with an open up mind to people of color who may not align with your political views. These actions break down barriers and alter our society for the better. I go it, we're in quarantine right now. You lot can't do anything in existent life. Simply this behavior has been happening forever.

What y'all need to understand is that these problems cannot be taught in a classroom. How tin you expect to participate in real human empathy without connection with an actual person who has had that personal experience?

caption: Mellina White, the blogger behind The Seattle Conservative,  poses for a photo in Seattle on February 17, 2020.

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When I was living in the Miami area in the early aughts, it was not easy being gay. A colleague of mine, whom I worked with daily, made it very clear she did not approve of homosexuals. Even though she was my age, nosotros grew up in dissimilar cultures. I did not treat her any differently or try to alter her mind about me. I was just Mellina. By the time my company sent me to Seattle, she and I were very expert friends and she expressed how wrong she was before. She even began to bring other gay folks into her circle. Our personal relationship changed her middle for practiced. It's an understanding you'll never earn with a meme, book, or video. This is simply one of the countless stories I can share from my life and I promise to have many more than in the future.

Again, information technology all starts with friendship. But how do I find friends of colour once Seattle reopens, you ask? Make an effort!

Show upwardly to customs events happening in your more various neighborhoods similar Africatown and Columbia City.

Seek out trip the light fantastic toe parties like SLAY that give y'all the adventure to appoint with every minority in ane night!

Recall about how you earned all of those white friends y'all have and DO THE SAME Verbal THING to discover POC friends. We're just people, as well.

If all else fails, email me to get out for a drinkable. I will hang out with anyone for complimentary cocktails.

I know what y'all're wondering. What if you show up to one of these events and yous're the just white person there? Excellent! That is a feeling shared all besides oftentimes by members of the African-American community. All it ways is more people are likely to talk to yous since you lot will stand out and you volition make even more blackness friends. Score.

All kidding aside, while these actions may seem tiny, they deliver huge results. Results that will change your perspective most the blackness man birdwatching at the park or jogging in your neighborhood.

Use THIS moment as an opportunity to aggrandize your circle. Real societal change starts with humans connecting and treating each other as individuals, non categories of identity.

Mellina White is the founder of The Seattle Conservative. In addition to politics, Mellina also writes nigh culture and LGBTQ fashion. She is a contributor to DapperQ, the popular queer mode community, and in 2015 she fabricated their Top 100 Most Stylish list. Mellina is a member of KUOW'south Curiosity Club and has been a featured debater at ii of KUOW's That's Debateable! programs. She lives in Seattle. If you'd similar to take her up on her offering of a cocktail and a "courageous converstion," you can email her at themellinawhite@gmail.com. You can find her on Instagram at @mellinawhite.

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Source: https://www.kuow.org/stories/a-letter-to-her-white-friends-on-their-blm-memes

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